Friday, August 13, 2010

It's true....

you can be completely over the moon happy about someone and then completely heartbroken about your own situation at the same time. I LOVE this blog community. I have found so much support just in reading other blogs and hearing the experiences. I have gained hope when I would be having a tough waiting day and encouragement as well. When someone gets their referral or brings their baby home after so many months of waiting, it is a joyous thing!!!

However, it wears on my faith when you sit and look at timelines. I'm human here, I do it. I wish I didn't. When you've been waiting well over a year with many more months to go before your referral and someone who has only been waiting for a referral a few months gets theres. Once again, COMPLETELY HAPPY for these folks! But it's heartbreaking. I have faith that God's timing is so much more perfect than mine. I know that when it is meant to happen, it will. I really do. My brain knows these things, but my heart just aches and wonders how much longer. We've moved into this house. We are settled. Plenty of room....we have baby brother's stuff in the closet just waiting for him. Oh I hope we hear something soon! I know life has been coming fast for us lately and we've been incredibly busy, but it doesn't mean I don't think of him every single day. I pray for him every night. I wonder about him every morning when I wake up. I know these feelings will all feel like a lifetime ago soon and will just fade the moment that referral call comes in. Fall seemed to be the busiest time last year, so we are really hoping that things pick up in the next few months so we might still have him home next Spring.

Just crazy emotions from a waiting mama tonight! Hope you all are doing well!!

5 comments:

kelly said...

Totally, totally understandable to feel that way! It is somewhat random how these referral timelines go. Depends on your US agency, the Korean agency, and just the time in general. I'm sorry - it's so hard to see others get quick referrals. For me, we didn't wait all that long to get a referral but we waited SO MUCH longer than most of my blog buddies to travel and that was very hard, too. Hang in there!

Jenny said...

i understand exactly how you feel :( praying the rest of your wait isn't as long as you think...

Annie B said...

I'm with you. It's hard not to compare timelines. And it is SO hard to wait. I hope things pick up or you are able to come to peace with this. It will happen, eventually - waiting sucks, but it is temporary.

Where are you on the list anyway?

Amy said...

I understand, too! This waiting is SO hard!! I like to look at timelines and try to make predictions but afterwards I always feel more discouraged than anything. I know that God has this waiting perfectly timed to end when HE wants it to, not according to anyone else's timeline. Sometimes that is hard to remember, though. I'm hoping your wait will end very soon!

Amy said...

I know the wait is so hard... just curious though, did someone from the same agency who is waiting for the same age, sex of child get a referral before you?