Friday, August 13, 2010

It's true....

you can be completely over the moon happy about someone and then completely heartbroken about your own situation at the same time. I LOVE this blog community. I have found so much support just in reading other blogs and hearing the experiences. I have gained hope when I would be having a tough waiting day and encouragement as well. When someone gets their referral or brings their baby home after so many months of waiting, it is a joyous thing!!!

However, it wears on my faith when you sit and look at timelines. I'm human here, I do it. I wish I didn't. When you've been waiting well over a year with many more months to go before your referral and someone who has only been waiting for a referral a few months gets theres. Once again, COMPLETELY HAPPY for these folks! But it's heartbreaking. I have faith that God's timing is so much more perfect than mine. I know that when it is meant to happen, it will. I really do. My brain knows these things, but my heart just aches and wonders how much longer. We've moved into this house. We are settled. Plenty of room....we have baby brother's stuff in the closet just waiting for him. Oh I hope we hear something soon! I know life has been coming fast for us lately and we've been incredibly busy, but it doesn't mean I don't think of him every single day. I pray for him every night. I wonder about him every morning when I wake up. I know these feelings will all feel like a lifetime ago soon and will just fade the moment that referral call comes in. Fall seemed to be the busiest time last year, so we are really hoping that things pick up in the next few months so we might still have him home next Spring.

Just crazy emotions from a waiting mama tonight! Hope you all are doing well!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Bills are paid.....

clothes are packed....Internet being disconnected all ready...movers coming bright and early tomorrow.
Bye Bye Carolina Shores, we will miss you!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Peaceful moving

In between all of the crazy things to do while getting ready to move, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the whole thing. It's funny that a lot of folks have asked if we were going to be like a military family..moving every year or two. I am completely amazed at the difference from the last move to this one.

The last move was hell. I really have no other way to describe it. I felt like I was being ripped away from everything. I was sad and frustrated and determined to find something to complain about during it or to be sad over. Even when things were going good, I would still find something! Talk about being a Negative Nancy as my friend Meredith would say.

I caught myself doing it a couple of times with this move. It's not so much not having a positive attitude this time as it's just being plain stressed out and letting it completely take me over. I get so wrapped up I lose sight in the important things. When I sit back later and think about those things, they are by and large very minor in the big scheme of things....and I'm disappointed in myself for letting it get to me.

Truth is, we have been very blessed so far in this move. We found a house that worked for our family amazingly quick. The moving company moved up their packing time two weeks for us so we could start the kids at the new school. The girls are taking the move incredibly well. Bobby is seriously glowing from the challenge of this new store. And I still get to be a stay at home mom with my girls. Seriously. So I didn't get all of my to do list done one day. Breathe. It's OK!

It's so very easy to fall back into that trap of pity me. It's probably been the hardest change I've had to make if I am being honest. It's an automatic easy fix to sit back and let your mind just take over with all of the **junk** that it can come up with to make you feel overwhelmed, out of control and at the mercy of the world. I'm not called to live that way anymore, but I have to purposely work at it, but that's ok. I think if that part was ever easy, I'm obviously doing something wrong!

So, this is probably the last post until we get into the new house on Friday. And the best news for last???

#9!!!!! We are officially #9 on the list! I've been doing the single digits dance all weekend! Hoping and praying movement continues!!!!!!!!