Saturday, October 30, 2010

Kyleigh's Birthday

I cannot believe tomorrow is Kyleigh's 8th birthday. These 8 years have flown by so quickly, I just could have never imagined how fast.

Kyleigh is a very type A, organized child that is only interested in the facts please. She has been very stubborn and headstrong from day one. I know everyone says that about their kid at some point or another, but really, she has. I appreciate this about her though. She has always been able to form her own opinion completely separate from everyone else's. She asks a thousand questions a day...she has to know everything about everything, but that is good. She is incredibly helpful. She is a planner, she likes to be involved in everything we do....knowing all the facts. We always say she's going to make a great CEO or nagging wife one day! It's been interesting for sure to watch her through this adoption process and all of the questions she has asked. She is really looking forward to meeting him and being a big sister again and talks everyday still about him.

She is a lover too. She loves her family, her friends, God and her pets. She is sensitive to her needs and others, most of the time. Of course she has her moments like any other kid!

We just love her so much and are so proud of her and proud to be her parents! I would have never guessed 8 years ago, scared in that delivery room and not knowing what was going on or going to happen it would all be this great. We love you so much our precious Halloween baby Kyleigh bear!!!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Looking up, moving on

So, lately I think my adoption posts have just been all over the place. I think it's like anything else where I go through this emotional roller coaster...some days I'm OK with everything, others I'm completely upset about it.
There hasn't been any more movement and when I spoke to our agency, they really don't expect anything for us until at least January. At the earliest. I have to admit, for a moment I was sad. I'm not mad anymore, just sad. Not anxious, just sad. I wonder about it. We are far along enough now where we know he's at least been born...and I just wonder about him all of the time now.

But, I made a promise to myself to keep moving on and not to let it get me down anymore. It's completely out of my hands...and probably for a good reason. If it was up to me, this would have happened a long time ago and I cannot imagine with everything that has happened to us in the past year throwing in an adoption along with it. I truly believe it's God's timing.
So, I continue to wait. Luckily, it's the busiest time of the year for us and I'm thinking that before we all know it, these next few months are going to fly by. Kyleigh has her 8th birthday on Halloween (we had her party this weekend) and we have Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up too. Not to mention if this last month is any indication how busy I'm going to be volunteering at their school, I'm not going to have much time for sitting around and feeling sorry for myself! I guess I've also been very thoughtful lately with myself...thinking of the past, both recent and many many years ago. I'm still dealing with a few things that always seem to creep up this time of year, so I'm sure that's been part of my emotional craziness too.
Hope everyone has a great Halloween and here are a few pictures from our last few crazy weeks.

Reece had to sit on every tractor at the county fair

Riding the Tilt-a-Whirl

Reece, her BFF "A" and myself at her school's fundraiser

Sisters at the state fair
Showing some family love before Kyleigh's party
Happy 8th Birthday Kyleigh!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

We go forward again....finally!

So, it's been a while since I've posted. There just wasn't anything going on now in terms of the adoption. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and praying....trying to figure out why it had been 2 months since anything....not even one referral for anyone in our agency. I have gone through ups and downs all through this seems like everything has a high and low at the same time. I finally came to the peace in the last couple of weeks that I just needed to have faith. I know I've said it before, but I didn't really believe it in my heart. I would still run to the computer on Friday afternoons to check for updates, and be brokenhearted when nothing would happen. I would still look and compare and wonder and cry. I would still question. Is that really faith in action?

I was just talking to my soon to be eight year old about her constant need to question everything and know and understand what is going on always. To anyone else, it seems disrespectful that she is constantly asking, but we know it's just Kyleigh's way. She HAS to know when, where, why, how what or is gets mad, frustrated, irritated, sad, etc. You get the point. I get irritated myself with it and always find myself saying "Kyleigh, can't you just go along with the flow? Just trust that it will be something good for you and you will enjoy. Just enjoy the ride. You are making the journey much more difficult than it truly has to be".

HELLO! Isn't that exactly what I had been doing? OK, I get it. Lesson learned :-)

So, I let it go....truly this time. And guess what happened? Referral drought over! Just when I wasn't expecting it. Just when I wasn't stalking it out or trying to plan it out.

WE ARE NOW #6!!!!!!!!!!!

It's getting's getting real. One of my very best friends came last week with her absolutely beautiful Ethiopian boy and stayed with us a couple of days. It was refreshing to have a baby in the house again. I was starting to remember...and really get excited!

I don't want to get too excited. We could sit at six and not move again for another 2 months like it happened before, but we have to be able to get a little excited right?! And seeing a couple of blogger moms I follow finally be able to hold their babies in their arms this week has just been a wonderful thing. I've been catching up today and mostly through tears reading their stories and seeing their pictures. This could be us soon....this will be us soon. It's a wonderful realization to something that we know we've been moving towards, but just hasn't felt this real until now.

While I'm still brokenhearted for his birth parents and the situation he is in now, I am rejoicing knowing everyday whether I see it in writing or now, we are being pulled closer together as a family. And that is something to celebrate!