We go forward again....finally!

So, it's been a while since I've posted. There just wasn't anything going on now in terms of the adoption. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and praying....trying to figure out why it had been 2 months since anything....not even one referral for anyone in our agency. I have gone through ups and downs all through this adoption...it seems like everything has a high and low at the same time. I finally came to the peace in the last couple of weeks that I just needed to have faith. I know I've said it before, but I didn't really believe it in my heart. I would still run to the computer on Friday afternoons to check for updates, and be brokenhearted when nothing would happen. I would still look and compare and wonder and cry. I would still question. Is that really faith in action?

I was just talking to my soon to be eight year old about her constant need to question everything and know and understand what is going on always. To anyone else, it seems disrespectful that she is constantly asking, but we know it's just Kyleigh's way. She HAS to know when, where, why, how what or is gets mad, frustrated, irritated, sad, etc. You get the point. I get irritated myself with it and always find myself saying "Kyleigh, can't you just go along with the flow? Just trust that it will be something good for you and you will enjoy. Just enjoy the ride. You are making the journey much more difficult than it truly has to be".

HELLO! Isn't that exactly what I had been doing? OK, I get it. Lesson learned :-)

So, I let it go....truly this time. And guess what happened? Referral drought over! Just when I wasn't expecting it. Just when I wasn't stalking it out or trying to plan it out.

WE ARE NOW #6!!!!!!!!!!!

It's getting close...it's getting real. One of my very best friends came last week with her absolutely beautiful Ethiopian boy and stayed with us a couple of days. It was refreshing to have a baby in the house again. I was starting to remember...and really get excited!

I don't want to get too excited. We could sit at six and not move again for another 2 months like it happened before, but we have to be able to get a little excited right?! And seeing a couple of blogger moms I follow finally be able to hold their babies in their arms this week has just been a wonderful thing. I've been catching up today and mostly through tears reading their stories and seeing their pictures. This could be us soon....this will be us soon. It's a wonderful realization to something that we know we've been moving towards, but just hasn't felt this real until now.

While I'm still brokenhearted for his birth parents and the situation he is in now, I am rejoicing knowing everyday whether I see it in writing or now, we are being pulled closer together as a family. And that is something to celebrate!