Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Happy Birthday Kyleigh!

This past Saturday we planned to have Kyleigh's 7th birthday party at the park. We were getting very nervous because they were calling for rain all week, but it ended up being an absolutely beautiful day!

You would not believe how excited Kyleigh was. Not only was her party this weekend, but her cousin Bryon also stayed the weekend with us. This kid was in heaven!

We are so greatful for all of her friends and family that came. Here are some picture highlights from her pumpkin decorating party at the park!

Tree of Life

30...that's right, I'm 30 today. I've been thinking a lot about what that means. My 20's were such a wonderful experience....I got married, graduated college, had kids, grew in a career, and lived a pretty sweet life. The "American Dream" in fact. Job, husband, kids, cars, house, bills, etc. I started thinking about what my 30's might look like.

I thought Kyleigh was strange at best for wanting to be a tree for Halloween this year, but she may be onto something. I'm thinking I want to be a tree too, but everyday, not just on Halloween. Here's why....

Trees have roots
They have a support system that keeps them standing strong throughout any storm life may bring. They get their nutrients to grow from their roots. My roots are in God and I hope to continue to spread them even further in my 30's. This past Sunday, I was baptized and I cannot even put into words what that means to me.

Last in line

Trees continue to grow

Trees don't reach a certain age and just stop for the most part, they continue to grow. They expand, reach out. I would like to grow even more these next few years...grow more as a parent, as a follower of Christ, as a wife, as a friend...and understand what all of these mean.

Trees have simple needs

Sunlight, water, love. Seems pretty basic right? Trees don't need to have fancy colors on their leaves all year or even be covered in leaves all of the time. They don't need bright decorations or to be in the best location to grow and flourish. I need to take a step back at my needs for life and re-evaluate what is a need or a wordly want.

Trees reach out

They reach up and out. Exactly what my arms should be doing. Reaching up in thanksgiving and prayer and reaching out to others.

Trees do not worry

Trees don't worry when the next rain is going to fall to provide for them. They stand in faith and just know it will. They don't pull out their calculators and factor things out. This is a big one for me. I need to walk by faith and not sight.

Trees offer protection and shelter

I want to continue to provide for my family, in whatever form that takes. To protect them, teach them, be there for them.

I never believed when I sat down and started thinking about how to make a tree costume it would be the light bulb moment I needed. I know it may seem kind of corny and symbolic, but maybe it's symbolic to follow a dream for my life that just isn't relevant anymore.

Here's to my 30's. Looks like you have a lot to live up too!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Only one person can fill my shoes...

So, I've come to the realization that I cannot do everything. Shock! I am completely overwhelmed and in over my head right now. Yes, it's probably the busiest time of the year for us...yes I have a problem saying no...yes I always take on more than I can chew.

Why do I think I am the only one that can do something? So this week, I have been working early/thru lunch/late everyday. I've also been trying to keep up with all of the house work because I know this weekend is going to be crazy and I don't like to spend my weekends cleaning...that's my time with my girls because lately it seems like all I do it work! Fall festival for girl scouts is tonight (yes, I signed up to run a booth and I am now just painting signs in between answering emails)-no clue yet how I am going to fit in getting off work in time, dinner and getting Kyleigh to scouts by 6. This has been a miserable fail the past 3 weeks!

Oh, and Kyleigh's birthday is this Saturday. I have to buy paper products and bake a cake...actually, 2 cakes and about 24 cupcakes and I haven't bought the stuff yet. And I need to get stuff together for the pumpkin decorating. And I want my weekend free because we have one of my nephews staying with us all weekend. And I have 3 high priority projects that have to be done in the next week at work.

Stressed yet? I am!

So, my wonderful husband seeing my stress level on his lunch break today offers to pick up the groceries I need for the cake tonight. All I have to do is leave him a list. Is he capable? Yes. Does he mind? No.

So here I am blogging about my inability to let things go instead of writing his shopping list. AH! Something has got to give. I need to give up my superwoman cape or my job or just the simple thought that I can be everything to everyone and give 110% to every little thing in my life.

Anyone else in my sinking boat???

Monday, October 19, 2009

Oh how I miss you Wilmington

So, I headed down to Wilmington Saturday afternoon for a wedding. OH how I missed you Wilmington! I even rolled down my windows going over the "big bridge" to take you in....the smell, the memories.

The wedding was well, beautiful. Aside from my own of course, it was one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to, although not for reasons you would normally think. Although it was decorated very pretty, that wasn't it. You could feel the love there, it radiated from every person. It was the kind to make you laugh and cry at the same time. New, fresh, sincere. I was truly honored to be a guest there. I have been missing my Wilmington friends for a long time and this was the outting I had been praying for. I saw a couple of friends I hadn't seen for months...which is especially significant because they are pregnant and I've missed in sharing that with them. They looked so good and their babies are growing wonderfully and everyone is healthy, which is something to celebrate in itself. Of course we always say we are going to get together more often, but it's so crazy with everyone's schedules. I treasure the times I get to spend with any/all of my Wilmington friends.

I have to admit I was sad driving home that Saturday night, but I know we were moved for a reason and that is what I am concentrating on now. I'm still searching for that light at the end of the tunnel that will light the trail I'm supposed to be following. I'm sure it's a flashlight banging me in the head right now, but somehow I'm missing it. Maybe I'm not, maybe I'm waiting for courage. Maybe I'm ignoring it because I'm scared. Oh how I'm praying for strength and courage right now!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Weather Forecasts

Yesterday...61 degrees...chilly...wet...rainy...gloomy.

Forecast for January 13, 2009....41 degrees...cold...wet....rainy...gloomy

Take me back 10 months to sitting outside in the cold, wet, rainy, gloomy weather. Numb from the cold, numb from watching them pray over my Dad's casket. I'm masking it pretty well at this point. I've had my own private breakdown. I've got on my "it's all going to be ok" face. I'm the strong one right? While everyone else is crying or scemeing, I've got to be the one keeping it together.

Well, I'm still trying to tape my broken heart together. My heart hurt so badly yesterday. I'm sure we have had rainy cold days since January, but for some reason yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. I miss my dad so much. There is so much going on in my life right now...so much to decide and talk about. I would love to be able to call him and see what he thinks. He was great about giving a no nonsense answer...whether it was what you wanted to hear or not. Everything seems to be in rollercoaster mode right now. Life is moving so fast. I just wanted to stop yesterday and remember him.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

What a beautiful ending...

So, a very close friend of mine sent this link to me this afternoon (thanks for the tears Meredith!)

I wanted to share this. Everyone we have shared our adoption with always asks "why?". Why Korea, why now, why for your family, why not chance another pregnancy? I can only say that with our life changes that happened last September until now, we had a new awakening. Once the thought of adoption started in my mind, no matter what I did I wouldn't go away. We had completed our family..I mean "really completed" our family...but somehow we were not....someone was missing. I truly think my medical issues occurred with my last pregnancy because we were meant to adopt and we are so blessed to one day welcome our child home!

Watch this video and listen with open heart. Maybe it's speaking to you too?

I love weekends like this...

So, it's been a pretty stressful few months at work. I needed desperately to re-charge this weekend...to figure out what exactly it is I'm doing and supposed to be doing.
On Saturday, the girls had a play date with a new friend we made at girl scouts. They had a ball, especially Reece since this little girl had a little brother equal to the energy she has! And the best part? I made a friend too! It was nice to just sit down for a few hours and talk to someone face to face.
Well, when we got back home I guess Bobby was in the playing mode too and instigated a favorite game in our house...hide and go seek. You just have to love this guy. He is right there in the thick of it....putting aside any stressful day at work, putting aside anything on his mind and is right there playing with them. And having just as much fun I might add! Here are some pictures of the fun...

Is he in my room?

All laughs when Daddy pops out of the laundry room!

Reece deciding if she should get on the bed and help bring Daddy down...

And who was the winner you ask?

I'm so blessed I have a great husband and I look up to him so much!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Quiet Celebration

Last year, we removed ourselves from the stress of our everyday lives and celebrated our wedding anniversary at a log cabin in the mountains. This year..well, there is just too much going on to take a trip right now. These last few weeks seem like there is just not enough hours in the day!

That being said, I do feel bad because I think everyone no matter how busy should take the time to spend time with and enjoy their loved ones. I'm hoping we will be able to get away soon, even if it's just for the weekend together.

On a personal note, I am astounded at how fast these last 8 years have flown by and how our lives have come together around it. We have had babies, started an adoption process, changed jobs, moved, beat cancer, faced death, worried about money and everything else under the sun...and most importantly we have made it through all of it stronger and closer to each other than ever before.

I started dating Bobby right after my high school graduation. People do a tremendous amount of changing between 18 and (almost) 30. I am incredibly thankful to have found my soul mate and to be living in happiness despite what the outside world may bring upon us.

Happy aniversary baby! Here is to many more!