I just cannot take something else happening in my life

I have a lot of family/friends right now going through a wide spectrum of life's dealings...and while I do not want to bring their journey's into the light of the entire blogger world, I do want to write a post of encouragement.

I have friends that are being beat down by the sheer challenge of being a parent, some are going through financial changes, some are battling family issues and some are fighting for healing for family members. Maybe one of you reading this blog are going through one, or all, of these too.

It's hard to hear the confusion and frustration and fear in these voices. Sometimes they just want to run away and have a break from it. Wouldn't that be nice? Like on that Adam Sandler movie where you can have your own remote to just pause everything so it can sink in and maybe make sense?

It's hard being a parent. Period. There really is nothing else to add to that. It is the most rewarding, amazing, life changing thing you can do.....but it's hard. Your patience is tested, you are being watched all of the time, you are at one or more people's becking call, you are in charge of one or more futures....teaching them, molding them, discipline, encouraging, feeding, cleaning, scheduling....etc. It's going to be an adjustment when you add another beautiful child to your house, whether it's your first or 19th. Don't be so hard on yourself. Love yourself so you are able to love others. No one is perfect. You have every intention of giving that child all of the love and hope possible..and that is what is important, not being on a certain nap schedule by now or showing the world that you have it all together. We all have had those moments where we have just broken down....that's the beautiful moment when God goes to work and puts us back together.

It's hard when your life from a financial standpoint has not exactly turned out how you thought it would several years ago. It's easy to buy into societies notion of feeling like a failure or not being on the right path because you don't have a certain amount in your bank account. While money is important to sustain us with food, clothing, shelter, etc., it is NOT the definition of your life. You are rich beyond anything printed paper can prove. And those mistakes made, they are just that...past tense..made. The beautiful thing is you can learn and move on. A new opportunity has been provided for you and your future to live in a different way. Your future is your blessing. Look forward to it and please don't beat yourself up over an unchangeable past. You are a wonderful person with a wonderful future.

It's hard when you are called apart from your family. We all have those family secrets that we hide...and these have molded us probably more than we know. When you count on your parents for unconditional love and support and beliefs and views collide like no other. Hold fast. Don't give up. I stand amazed at what pride can do to completely break down a family. You are incredibly strong, forgiving and kind hearted. It is not going unnoticed. Pride is a hard thing to work through no matter what your beliefs are. Hold strong. I am so proud of you.

It's hard when the people you love and care for the most get sick, and there isn't anything you can do about it. You feel completely out of control and at mercy to this world. You hold it in and hold it together because you don't want people to see it's affect on you. Everyone is amazed at your strength, but you are really breaking down inside. We are selfish beings....we all want our loved ones to stay with us forever. We love them so much. We cannot imagine life without them. Cancer is an incredibly cruel thing. I don't think I know anyone it hasn't touched in one way or another. Please, find someone you can open up to. A friend, another family member...Pray. Be vulnerable....let the emotion and fear and anger out. I know you are feeling all of those and so much more...it's OK. It's normal. Walking with a family member or close friend through something like this is life changing. I cannot say why it's happening and I know that was my main question. Why. I was mad. I was sad. I was unbelieving. I was overwhelmed. I felt alone. I was overwhelmed with emotions that I have no words for. Please know there are so many of us that love you, pray for you every day, and will walk with you through this. I don't know where you are in your personal journey through this battle, but there is always a hand or ear here.

You are God's child and He loves you. Talk to Him. Be honest, be open. Ask questions, be open to answers. And wait. You are not alone, you are loved and adored by so many.

Let me tell you about this little girl....

This little girl is incredible and so is her family. This little girl was born prematurely...weighing in at one pound 5 ounces. This little girl is a fighter.

With the hand of God, the strength and love of her family, the wisdom and care of her medical team she fought and persevered.

Last summer she was diagnosed with Stage IV High Risk Neurtoblastoma. She has fought through many treatments and was doing better, however the cancer has now come back and has completely overtaken her poor body. She just celebrated her second birthday last month.

They are doing another round of chemo to see how her response is. Depending on those results, this family may have some tough choices ahead of them.

This little girl is named Jolee. I came to know her though a co-worker who is her aunt and one of the most kindest people I've ever met.

Can I please ask that you all hold this family up in prayer. I look at my two little ones and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for their safety and health. I know how incredibly hard this decision was when I had to make it for my dad....but for your child, I cannot imagine. It just makes me cry.

Please, put Jolee on your church prayer list. Please prayer for healing for her little body and spirit. Please pray for strength for her family. Please pray for wisdom for her medical staff. Please pray for a miracle for this family. Please pray that no matter what happens in the coming days, that they lean on God for support because I know he is wanting to cover them in love and comfort.

A busy and joyful weekend!

I was counting down the days until the weekend because I knew how awesome it was going to be! Here is the rundown.....

On Friday my father in law came down to help Bobby with some work on his car, but unfortunately they ran into some trouble and didn't get done what they wanted to. Bobby was pretty disappointed, but hopefully they will be able to get together again soon to get it finished up. His dad stayed the night on Friday, much to the delight of my girls who love their "big Papa". Here are some pictures of them playing in the big red truck:

Notice the dirt all over the knees in her pants. She had them tore up within the hour

Everyone was laughing at our photo session!

On Saturday, we headed to Wilmington to my friend Whitney's baby shower and see the infamous baby Aaron! When we come into Wilmington, a smile just comes over my face. I met so many great people while living there and have so many great friendships from it. Here is a picture from Whitney's shower. All us girls worked together in the office!

Not too much longer for Whitney and Jen!

Bobby dropped me off and took the girls to Monkey Joes to play. They had a ball and daddy still got to watch his Carolina game :-) After that, we headed to Meredith's house to meet Aaron. Abby was pretty upset with me last time I came and didn't bring the girls, so I think we made up this time! The girls played while we got to know little Aaron and listened to Meredith tell us about her trip in Ethiopia and showed us lots of great pictures. Here are some of the little man!

I couldn't take my eyes off him...so sweet!!


Mommy makes me laugh!

Loving this man of mine!!!

I was so happy to see Meredith and have her home and so thankful they had a safe trip!

On Sunday after church we set out to the Extreme Home Makeover site. They are doing a home for a family that lives about 45-hour from us. Bobby went out last week and did some volunteering, so he watched the girls Sunday afternoon while I got my chance (did I mention how much I love this guy?!). This family has an unbelievable story and is so deserving. I didn't get to meet any celebrities or anything, but that's ok, the experience was great! Keep your eyes out for the SC home with guest Jeff Gordon. Here are some pictures of me in the line moving the furniture in the house!

Got a great shot of the house when all of the trucks moved

The story of meeting Jeff Gordon had me laughing from this volunteer!

Lots of beautiful stuff from Target for the home!

Get this truck loaded!

Dirt track for BMX/go karts in the backyard in process

Today I am completely exhausted from all of the madness of the weekend, but it was all so great! I smiled and laughed so much this weekend my cheeks still hurt!

Oh how I miss you Wilmington

So, I headed down to Wilmington Saturday afternoon for a wedding. OH how I missed you Wilmington! I even rolled down my windows going over the "big bridge" to take you in....the smell, the memories.

The wedding was well, beautiful. Aside from my own of course, it was one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to, although not for reasons you would normally think. Although it was decorated very pretty, that wasn't it. You could feel the love there, it radiated from every person. It was the kind to make you laugh and cry at the same time. New, fresh, sincere. I was truly honored to be a guest there. I have been missing my Wilmington friends for a long time and this was the outting I had been praying for. I saw a couple of friends I hadn't seen for months...which is especially significant because they are pregnant and I've missed in sharing that with them. They looked so good and their babies are growing wonderfully and everyone is healthy, which is something to celebrate in itself. Of course we always say we are going to get together more often, but it's so crazy with everyone's schedules. I treasure the times I get to spend with any/all of my Wilmington friends.

I have to admit I was sad driving home that Saturday night, but I know we were moved for a reason and that is what I am concentrating on now. I'm still searching for that light at the end of the tunnel that will light the trail I'm supposed to be following. I'm sure it's a flashlight banging me in the head right now, but somehow I'm missing it. Maybe I'm not, maybe I'm waiting for courage. Maybe I'm ignoring it because I'm scared. Oh how I'm praying for strength and courage right now!