Boy, this is actually interesting

So, our last step in the home study paperwork (aside from the references which are out of our hands and Bobby's physical when he gets the time to go) is the education. We are required to take four classes of varying length and subject from an online source just for adoption education. In my mind, I honestly thought this would be boring. I feel like I have read so much stuff these last few months and I thought it would just be a repeat of everything I have read before.

I cannot tell you how much I am glad they make all potential adoptive parents do this. The class we are working on now is called "Eyes Wide Open" and while it does cover a lot of the things we have already read and research, much of it is told from the adoptees point of view. They place you in situations where you can really imagine yourself in their shoes and what it must be like for them. Of course, you know when you are finally given this child all you want to do is love them and give them everything you can. You know they are going to spend the rest of their lives with your family in a secure environment, but what do you think they know and understand at that moment?

For our adoption, this might be the experience our child has: With an older infant, they are used to a certain caregiver. In Korea, they have gone from their mother to an orphanage to a foster family...and now they are being moved again, all before their first year of life. They have probably just bonded with their foster family, gotten used to the noises in the neighborhood, the smells of the house, the food served, the milk, the toys and bedding, the feel of their clothes, their nap/sleep schedule and their spacial surroundings. Korea is a 13 hour time difference, so when we are going to bed, they are waking up. I don't know how much one on one attention they got, how much they were hugged or kissed, how loud their house was or even how their diapers were changed. Everything for this baby is about to change, not just the people caring for them, but the clothes, the food, the sounds, the smells, the environment, the time, the house, the country. Their whole world is about to be turned upside down, and while this is providing a positive, loving and secure future for the child, we have to remember and understand what this might feel like from their point of view when this first happens.

They will not have anything from their current environment to hold onto except what is brought with them from Korea, if anything. Can you imagine how that must be? Not knowing where you are going, where you are, who all of these people are grabbing onto you, not knowing where your foster mom is. It has to be heartbreaking for them at first.

I am really writing these things down in preparation because it's so easy to get caught up in our own emotions. We are so excited, scared, anxious, grateful. But, we also want to remember how our baby will feel those first months home. I think it's a fine line between making them feel secure and comfortable and not overwhelming them at the same time.

The new way of life will be very different for all of us, and I think as parents we need to take a step down into the shoes of each of our children for a moment and really contemplate how it's going to feel. Kyleigh did a great job transitioning into big sister when Reece was born and we are hoping that will be the same again, but we will be seeing things from her point of view as well. Reece is younger and may be more prone to act out than verbalize like Kyleigh does. Right now they are more than excited about all of this, but I think it's going to be so important to incorporate our family early and often and all be open about how we are feeling about the whole thing. So far, its been such a wonderful experience that has truly opened my eyes to the bond Bobby and I have, our children's world view and certainly mine. I hope we will continue to have our eyes opened by this experience and things continue to go well!