This past week off has been like no other. We went to our hometown last Thursday and stayed through Sunday. Luckily our parents live only 5 minutes from each other, so it makes those home visits very easy. The girls had a blast seeing their family and it warms my heart how excited they get over their grandparents. We are still working on the gratitude part of Christmas, much better than last year, but still slow strides as far as I'm concerned. I'm having a hard time finding the middle ground between them being young and enjoying the magic of Christmas, but also understanding that presents cost money and the time, thought and sacrifice behind them. It's a work in progress I guess!
It was just the girls and I for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I spent most of these days enjoying them, cleaning up, laundry and breaking up those squabbles that happen when you have spent WAY too much time with your sister a week straight! But, I have to say how wonderful it was to sit down every night and just relax. I honestly cannot remember the last time I really did that....not thinking about what was due the next day or how in the world I was going to get everything done. I just enjoyed my family one day at a time.
Bobby was off on Christmas eve and we decided to do a big family day of fun. We went to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks (which was something. I haven't taken them to a movie together in over a year) and then we played putt putt. It got a little cold there at the end, but it was so much fun! I usually am horrible at putt putt, but ended up with 3 holes in one and each of the girls got one too (sorry daddy!). We got some ice cream and then headed off to the Christmas eve service at our church, which was absolutely great. We got home and left our food for santa and his reindeer and actually all went to bed without any problems! (last year Reece hid under the table in the living room...blankets and all!).
This morning was a flurry of wrapping paper and excited smiles. We didn't go crazy like we did in years past, lots of smaller things. Their big present was a radio/karoye machine...which much to our ears dismay has already had much play today :-)
Pugsley thought Christmas started much too early in the morning
Excited Reece
The vet Barbie Kyleigh wanted
Daddy showing Reece how to crush cars with her new monster truck!
I told myself all day to focus on the happiness of the day. It's so hard not to look back at last Christmas....and there are a lot of sad memories. This time last year I was putting out a missing persons warrant for my dad because no one could find him. Tomorrow he would go into the hospital and never come back out except to be moved to hospice only a week later because the cancer would spread so quickly. Today would begin 3 weeks of heartache and even harder decisions.
But, with all of that, I also have to focus on what was going on behind all of that. It's no secret my dad and I had a jaded past and had just reunited our relationships a few years past. So many feelings had resulted from our recent move and I was clinging to anything I could to make it through. Just two weeks before Christmas I wrote letters to my parents...my dad, my mom and my step dad. Very personal letters, letters of open forgiveness and sharing feelings I never had before. I was moved to do it. I let it all go. When everything started happening with my dad, I almost ripped them all up, thinking the time wasn't right. But it was. God starting moving in my life in a most awesome way last December (he's always being moving in my life, I had just been too blind to see it!) I gave my parents those letters and spent my last night with my dad....reading his letter to him, his eyes closed shut and tears coming out. I kissed him and told him how much I loved him, how much I would miss him, how thankful I was that God had brought us back together after all of those years. He wasn't able to talk or even open his eyes at that point, but I know he heard me. He squeezed my hand and I sat there with him and just cried.
After all of the presents were open this morning, we started calling everyone so the girls could tell them what they got for Christmas. I cannot lie I had to choke back a tear going past my dad's name in my phone (I just don't have the heart to delete it..as silly as that sounds). But, this Christmas, I don't have to worry and wonder where he is. He is in the safest place any of us could ever imagine, right in God's arms.
I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas and remember the most precious gift we have all received this very night....Jesus was born to save us. All we have to do is receive His gift. Won't you receive it tonight if you haven't before?
1 comment:
Ok, I realize I don't know you at all (aside from the awesome pre-adoptive parent bond we share of course), but this post has me in tears this morning...and that's saying something for me. What you shared about the relationship with your parents is just incredible. I'm so glad you were able to share that moment with your dad almost a year ago. And I can't imagine what it meant to him to know his relationship with his daughter was where it needed to be before he died. Thanks so much for sharing that.
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