Strength to Speak

So, it's been awhile since I have blogged. It's been a tough couple of weeks. My dad has been gone from my life for a month now. I still feel like everything is uncertain and up in the air. I have been praying a lot. I guess dad's passing made me realize life is too short to just settle. You really should be doing what you love to do everyday, you should make time for your family and friends no matter what and you should be using your life to make a difference in others. Mostly, I have prayed for God to put me where I need to be right now. I feel like I am in between, just floating around in a waiting room waiting for my destination to be announced. I am yours now, how will you use me? How would He have me make a difference? A new career? A church? A new opportunity my way?

I had to go to Goldsboro this past Wednesday to settle up a last bit of business for my dad's car. On my way back, I stopped in Wilmington and had dinner with 2 great friends that I miss terribly. One of them I am very close to and the other I don't know as much about, but she is a beautiful person and I would love to get to know her even more. We sat there, 3 ladies without our babies, in front of our Blue Moons and too much fried food to even mention! We talked about lots of stuff and then she said "I called my dad today, I don't know why, but I did". I had no idea about her situation and I didn't want to pry, but with some encourage from my other friend, she started to talk some more. Her dad left when she was a kid and had some problems with alcoholism. Wow, this sounded familiar. As I sat there and listened, normally I wouldn't say a thing. It's not my place to intrude, but I felt different now. I shared a little about how my dad and I reconciled and came back together after so many years. I encouraged her to go to him, to help him with his pride and shame, that he loved her...sometimes you just don't know where to begin or you are too scared too. I was so glad we were sitting because my legs were shaking so badly and neither of us could look each other in the eye because I knew we would both cry. It came so freely. I had cried at the 5 second beginning of a song just an hour before on the way there thinking of him and here I was, speaking about him and filled with his memory and spirit and smiling.....SMILING as I spoke of him. Smiling to think that another relationship can be built back up and they both could overcome their past.

I drove home that night filled with a peace I cannot explain. I was calm as I drove with my windows down and the night air blowing through my hair. It felt so good. And then I realized, my prayer had been answered. I asked to be put where I could be of use, and I was. I never knew it would be a dinner with friends just coming through town, but that was the beauty of it.

If my story helps to give strength to save one relationship, that is something unimaginable. I'm so grateful to be able to share my stories over this blog...and anywhere else God feels like it is needed.