Just a rough week, that's all

I am now able to blog about this past week. boy it was a rough one. Two words...travel call. Well, lack there of.

I know, I know...we haven't been waiting as long as some families have for their travel call. Before I even begin this post, I want to say that no matter how long we wait, I am incredibly grateful and thankful for this entire adoption process. I am in no way bitter towards anyone or anything. Just sad really.

So, when speaking to our agency back in December concerning EP's (if you remember from my earlier posts, Korea ran out of EP's-permits that our kiddos need to leave the country and come home-and everyone was *patiently* waiting for January 1st so they could start submitting them again), she told us that Holt prioritizes waiting children (Asher is from Rainbow kids) and she said we should be in that first batch. Our agency doesn't get notification of when or what families are submitted for EP, but I've been following the Holt boards to watch this information. A batch was submitted on the 4th and 11th. I was so excited! There has been 4 or 5 other friends I've made along the way and we were all in the same boat in this waiting process.

So on Tuesday, there was action all over the boards and fac*book of folks getting EP approvals and travel calls! I was so excited! This little boy I've prayed for and love so much would be coming home!! I thought for sure that we were in that group going by what our agency said, so I was literally waiting by my phone. Ready to make that call to our family and friends. Ready to feel that completion after almost 2 years of waiting. Ready to know that we were finally bringing our son home!!!!

Well, as you can guess, no call came. I finally called our agency. To sum it up, they don't really have any information to give. She was pretty sure we were not submitted, and did not give any idea of when we would be. Nothing at all hopeful to go on. At all. When I asked about the first batch situation, she clarified that was "an assumption". Would have been nice to have that clarification as soon as she said it in December since I had been holding onto that conversation this entire time. So, we were not getting a travel call that day, this week, this month, probably not even next month. It's looking more and more like March....or worst April or later.

I'm not going to lie, I cried. A lot. I'm just so emotionally exhausted from all of this. I want him home so badly it physically hurts. Tuesday and Wednesday were very bad days with lots of puffy eyes! But, my crying didn't do anything to change the situation. In reality, we are with Holt and their travel takes much longer than SWS, which is who most of my friends are with. It's not a surprise they got their travel call at all. I decided that instead of having a pity party for myself, I was going to be positive about this...as much as I can!

It sucks that we will not be there by his birthday. I mean, it just does. It sucks for every family to have to wait like this, it doesn't matter how long they have waited or what their situation is. I've said it before, adoption is not for the faint at heart and boy I've learned that lesson over and over again this week. So, I'm just going to be thankful that Asher is with an amazing foster family who is taking great care of him. Thankful he had a good January check up. Thankful in knowing that this wait Does have an end. We Will be in Korea soon. So for now I'm still trying to keep busy and February is turning out to be action packed..and the shortest month of the year thank goodness...so maybe it will fly by. We still have to get his room straighten up and now I have time to learn some Korean phases (I love you, thank you, etc.) that I really wanted to learn before we traveled.

Thanks everyone for your support this past week and kind words. It's really meant a lot to have such great friends!!!!