Pressures of the modern day woman/parent

I think it's hard being a woman (of course I'm one sided and bias here), but especially today and especiallly being a parent.

In a time when Destiny's child can have hits with a song like "Bills, bills, bills" about having a man to pay their bills and then turn around and release "Independent Woman" some years later about being completely independent from that same notion. I grew up wanting to be completely independent. I didn't want to depend on anyone for anything....all too many times there were strings attached. If I worked hard, I could control it all....I could do it all.

I felt pressure to have my own career and be a successful figure, to own a certain type of home, to have 2.5 kids...which of course I would manage without blinking an eye, be completely supportive of my husband and have dinner on the table for all of them at promptly 6pm after working all day. At night, I would be able to get all of the cleaning and laundry done and start my next day in a perfectly clean and organized home. That commercial with Kelly Ripa for those washers and dryer where "she can be even more perfect" drives me up the wall.

Seriously ladies, it's tough out there! I always held tight to that advice or those conversations I would have with folks that I knew would be real with me.....your laundry will pile up to 5 or more loads and it's OK, your dishes will fill the sink and you will be too tire to wash them sometimes and it's OK, you will not always have Mary Poppins patience with your kids and it's OK. I love and cherish these stories of families just being real because I just couldn't keep up with the notion (and stress) of doing everything perfectly all of the time!

So, I thought I would share some real stories with you guys. Some of you are just now starting families, some of you have babies or many more kids than I do, but I thought it would be fun to share some. I know I'm not alone in saying that worry seriously takes over sometimes...I worry a lot about the parent I am and the effect I'm having on my kids and I think that's a normal thing for any mom to do, but life happens and sometimes you just have to run with it!

~Life Lesson #1: Lock away your art supplies. Don't just put them away in drawers.
We were getting our house ready to sell and we had just spent two days painting and preparing. I was in the bathroom and came downstairs to a lovely painting of green all the way down my stairwell...my carpet...my living room walls...my entertainment center...and even the poor unsuspecting dog. Another two days of painting......

~Life Lesson #2: Always ask your child questions about what they talked about with their friends that day.
Kyleigh was 4 and was discussing with me a video a friend was telling her about at school that she wanted us to buy for her. Honestly, I was half listening, thinking she was going to ask again for another Barbie movie, but I asked the name of it. "Well (child's name) said she stays up late and sees it advertised. She told us it's called Girls Gone Wild". After a freak out of follow up questions about what exactly the other child said about the video, we found out that Kyleigh just thought it was a dancing video and really didn't know anything about it's true content! Seriously would have never thought this would be a conversation occuring at 4!

~Life Lesson #3: Go to Rooms to Go right now and splurge on a mattress protector.
Not only do they save your mattress during potty training at night (which is an adventure in itself), but when your 4 year old decides to sneak in the gallon of strawberries you just picked into her room and stains EVERYTHING her favorite color pink, your mattress will survive yet again!

~Life Lesson #4: Time outs are for mommies too
Oh we love these kiddos so very much, but something very serious happened with my girls at 2 and most notably age 4. Some stubborn, loud, knowing it all, nagging demon possessed them. Luckily, it goes away (I'm sure to rear it's lovely head again in the teenage years), but during this time it's a test like no other. They are figuring out limits and independence...and testing your limits at the same time. It's OK to get frustrated, but know that I'm pretty sure they all go through this...and we've all survived and are even looking forward to having more! I never wanted to be that mom screaming at her kids or hitting them out of shear frustration. We've learned when we have situations like this, both mom and child have a time out for the same reasons....it gives us both time to calm down and not react emotionally. We come back together and can clearly talk it through. This has worked much better in our house than anything else we've tried. And a night out with your best girl friends are so important. Plan that lunch or dinner date with them and keep it!

Oh there are so many more (and more to come I know!), but I thought this would be a fun post!