"What is He doing?" Sweet Jolee

Only one thing to say at this time...I am heartbroken by cancer. I've taken care of my mom while she fought through it, I've cried with my husband when he was diagnosed, I've held my father's hand the moment he passed. I've listened to friends talk of their struggles and watched as their family and friends fought it.

One question always seems paramount....Where is God at in all of this? How could God leave a 8 year old to take care of her dying mother? How could God take away a 2 year old from a mother's arms? In the midst of all of the pain and emotion, it's hard to understand God's will. We want our family and friends to always be here. We are never emotionally ready to let go. It's never enough time. We want to barter with God for just a little bit more. I sometimes wish we could see the entire canvas as He does, but then I wonder what we would do with it. Many times the small portion we get to view gets distorted.

Today a very special little girl named Jolee joined so many with her Holy God in Heaven. While we are here on earth crying in remorse, there are many more joining in songs of praise for her spirit. Oh how she is being lifted and praised right now. But in that joyous time, her family and so many touched by her short life are left with an emptiness.

This is a hole only God can fill. His promise to us is not that He can keep these tragic things from happening, but that He will see us through them. He is waiting for all of us to lay our burdens down and to give these things up to Him. Only He knows and understands why this happened, no words we can say here on this earth can take this away or make the pain subside. In sorrowful times, it's hard for you to let it go....you've been holding it together so long. Being strong for everyone, but God is being strong for you. He is your rock. Lean on Him. Let Him comfort you. Let Him give you peace.

The whirlwind of emotions will continue to spin and at times you will feel completely over taken by them. Little things will remind you of her, even years later. Every time you hear the word cancer your heart will break in remembrance. But, Jolee touched so many. She gave so many courage and strength. We were in awe of your family.

I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could say it's going to be easy. What I can do is continue to pray and ask everyone that is reading this blog to do the same. I am praying for peace and understanding and strength for all of you. I am praying you know how much your little girl meant to so many. I am praying you know what an inspiration your entire family is. I am praying you know what a wonderful place Jolee is in now. She is holding onto the arms of her heavenly Father, completely healed and saved.