So, another Friday comes and goes and again, no referrals. It's been almost 3 months of dry, heart breakingly no news emails. I know, I'm whining. I was just scratching my head. I mean, we usually would get at least one a month! So, I decided to email our agency....just to ask if they knew what was going. With all of the negative publicity adoption has gotten lately, I have had my fill of folks asking me if they thought international adoption would shut down completely. Although I know it's crazy to let thoughts like that encroach into your brain, when the referrals all of a sudden stop at the same time, you begin to wonder!
Anyway, so I emailed, just asking if they knew if things were on hold for a bit....really if they knew anything they could tell me to ease this mama's waiting heart. It's so hard to write those emails and know the right way to ask...I know things are out of their control too and I'm sure they get them all of the time.
So they respond back with "Actually, we have just been told we are getting some next week...and I'm pretty sure there is one for you :-)
WHAT?! Tears of sheer excitement and joy! I'm yelling for my hubby somewhere in the house to come read this email! My kids are asking me what in the world is the news?! So, so very excited!
Then, I realize they have sent me another email. They apologize, but got our name mixed up with another very familiar family name. We will not be getting a referral next week. We still have some undisclosed longer time to wait.
And just like that, my balloon popped. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly excited for those families receiving their referrals, and it's GREAT news that we are even getting them again! But, my heart just sunk. They felt so bad I know.
Phew, this waiting stuff is hard. I cannot believe next month will be a year since we started our process. I thought a year would feel like forever...and some days it has, but all in all it has flown by. I know that the child that is meant for our family will be, whether that referral happens next month or next year. I do pretty good on most days, but that mix up has just seemed to make it worst...now I'm missing them even more, wondering where they are, if they are safe, how long it's going to be before I see their face.
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6 comments:
Adoption is full of ups and downs. I can't believe your social worker did that. She should know better than to "mix up" things. Your poor heart took a hit :( Take heart, your referral is coming. I can't wait until I see that post!
That stinks!!! How could they do that to you? They should know to check and double check before they even slightly hint at such important news to a waiting Mama! Praying your referral will come very, very soon!!!
oh my... i could not have handled that! you poor thing! maybe they'll get more than they planned on and there will be one for you! at least things are going to be moving again, that's for sure!
Gasp! That is not good for your heart ... I'm sorry that happened. Ugh. It IS good news that referrals are happening though!
Brandi, that's so rough! I'm sure the agency feels terrible though (I would). I am relieved to hear there is movement too, the dry spells do make you worry. Will be looking forward to mext week's friday email to see how many spots you have moved up!
Oh no. How awful. Hang in there though. Positive things are on the way. I hope your referral comes soon.
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