Shine on

So, I've been working at home for almost a month now and really starting to get into my groove. I have to admit, it wasn't as smooth as I thought it was going to be. This week, I have realized something profound about myself.

Last week on vacation as Bobby and I were enjoying the hot tub, we found ourselves talking about the future, and about our careers. When I was growing up, I could never decide what I wanted to be, but I knew I wanted to impact people, I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to do something important. As I started talking about the new path I have taken this year, I began to hear a tone in my voice I have not heard in a while....restlessness. Now, don't get me wrong, I am PLENTY busy, but with my previous position I was in constant motion and pulled in a thousand different directions. That is where I felt I would shine, put me in a difficult situation, while others would complain, I secretly loved it. What I didn't realize was I was allowing it to validate who I was.

Without that constant "in your face office" everyday, I had come to feel like less of a person. I was almost depressed. How could I have let a job symbolize who I was?

I once had a person that worked for me tell me in a conversation about our company that she felt the priorities were all wrong, that we were putting our jobs/careers over everything and that she only answered to God. As a manager, that put me in a difficult situation and I know now I really missed the point she was trying to make. In her own way, I think she saw it in me even then and was trying to reach out (if you are reading this, sorry it took me so long to come around!).

I am very blessed to be working for a company that works everyday to save lives. Our CEO is generous and kind, something that seems to be few and far between these days. I have been given an opportunity that has allowed me to stay and continue to grow with them. For that, I am forever grateful.

Just a word to the wise to all of those career junkies, it is important, but don't let it validate who you are or who you want to be. Find that thing that makes you get up with the sun every morning. Find your own way to shine, don't depend on someone else to give you that "artificial light". It causes cancer you know.