You ever been wrong about something?

Ever been completely wrong about something you felt in your heart so sure about?

I have had something weighing so heavy on my mind for the past 4 or 5 months and it seems like every week it just gets stronger and stronger. I try not to let my anxious side overtake my decision making. It turns into a mess...a long drawn out mess! I know some folks that do the "pro and con" list. Some just follow their hearts and do it. Some will let others make the decision for them. I guess I'm a little bit of all of these. I can think of many cons and huge pros. I know what my heart is telling me to do. I know what the decision would be right now if I allowed someone else to make it.

I was thinking today about how persistent my kids are. When they are sure they want something, they will fight for it. Pester, nag and come up with all of the reasons in the world they should have it. I guess I'm waiting for a sign this is something to fight for. I have come to God with an open heart and laid this at His feet. I know if it's His will, it will be. It's just so hard to know. I just want to come clean and pour it all out, but I sound so emotional when I do. I don't know how to make it come across that I don't believe and want to do this because of some emotional emptiness I feel right now. I have felt this way before I had a reason to have any emotional emptiness. I cannot put feelings into words. How can you really? It just comes out sounding like an emotion mess.

So, I am praying tonight. I am praying that if this is in His will, a barrier will open and break down for me. And I'm also praying if it is not, that I will know that in my heart and be able to move on.

I feel like I have gone through a tremendous transformation this past year, starting about this time last year. I look back at the person I was and who I am becoming now and who I want to be and I am so thankful for all of this past years events for making me a better person even though I might have been devastated at the time. My past misconceptions and all of the things I thought life was about and I thought were important have completely changed, I think for the better. My goals have completely changed. My life and world view have completely changed. I don't even recognize the person I was. I was self absorbed, immature and missing out on real life completely.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and going to the beach and enjoying the beautiful weather we had before today! Just emptying my mind tonight waiting for my hubby to get home!